Where Did They Go?

An occasional update on bands that I love

THE GRANNY
The Granny were one of the best modern day psychedelic groups. Formed in Eastbourne in 1987, they had a minor hit in '89 with "Dust Flower Candles". But where did they go?

SIMON, VOCALS
Golden-voiced SIMON (“I have no second name; it was stolen from me at birth”) has added many strings to his bow since the heyday of The Granny.

As well as continuing to tour with his mother in SIMON 'N' MUM, Simon enjoys entertaining members of the public outside the Observatory in Slough by slowly scoring the sole of an old shoe with a tile cutter. That's where we caught up with him.

“I’m not grumbling but none of us made anything out of the band”, says Simon. “Apart from Steve. Steve’s weakness was money...for which he would ultimately pay a very considerable price”.

MARTIN MOTHIMAN, GUITAR, KEYBOARDS, VOCALS
Songwriter and Granny mainman Mothiman can these days be found living in a small hut on the dunes at Whitby. Here he spends his days staring at small pieces of burnt driftwood and repairing kilts. In the corner of the hut is a small pile of magpie feathers, damp with urine, which he believes will begin to generate electricity once they ferment.

Mothiman regrets falling out with the other band members but feels he has paid for his crimes. “The driftwood is my constant reminder”, rasped the empty-eyed popster. “I can still feel the flames licking at my boots”.

TIMOTHY BROWN, BASS
Timothy combines his career as a successful retailer of lunchtime snacks with a passion for black magic. “Since the fire I have been experimenting with transmutation”, claims Brown. “And I am determined to become half man-half goat so that I can better serve my master, the Dark Lord Beelzebub”.

BENTLEY JACKSON, VIBES
Vanished. Believed to have sold his vibes to Monty Don.

ROMILLY CIEKA, DRUMS, PERCUSSION
Cieka moved to Newport after a deer-strangling incident. “I have put my anger with wild woodland creatures behind me...though I must avoid all scent of forest dwellers. I saw a deer in the fire before I passed out. It was a vision.

“Since coming out of hospital, I have focussed my mental strength on a business that combines social work with aromatherapy. I use Aveda products, nothing less. It’s all about using chakra and natural perfumes to channel dysfunctionalism”.

STEPHEN KITCHEN, TRUMPET, FLUGELHORN
After splitting from his fellow Grannies Stephen did a couple of sessions for Cattlemachine and played a restored zitherette on Simon's solo single "Sweet Acid Creature". A month later his charred corpse was discovered floating in the Thames near Greenwich. The blackened bones of his fingers were curled into a fist. Inside, detectives discovered a gold sovereign.