Book Review - 'She Blew His Apples Off!'

Shaun MacInnes Re-Assesses A Vital Epistle From The 'Groovy' 1960s

Perhaps the definitive chronicle of those crazy, rainbow-patterned days of the 1960s is Sophie Pint-Guinness’s autobiography ‘Confessions Of A Pop Group Girl’. Uniquely positioned as London's only Blow Off Girl, Sophie had exclusive insight into the lives and trousers of all the bands on the music scene. It came as no surprise that her book caused a sensation when it was published by Whittle & Harp in 1967.

In 1966, Sophie took a job at The Murky Tavern in Waterloo. It was here that she met many of the stars that she was to blow off over the next eighteen months.

"No-one had thought about blowing groups off before", says Sophie today. "Also, we took more drugs than it was humanly possible to take. A doctor told me that while I was blowing him off".

Although the names of the pop groups and their personnel were changed in her book (see below), most people on the scene saw through the disguise. Pop journalist Vicky Valentine: "There’s a section in the book where Sophie blows off one of ‘The Pox’. When she describes the clothes that he’s wearing, you realise it could only be Dorian Peacock":

Dudley Pimlock from The Pox was my first pull. As my acid-fried brain twisted and turned like a day-glo reverie of paisley, hair and Chelsea boots, I stared at Dudley’s tight buttocks which strained against his purple satin jeans. I pushed him up against the wall and readily unzipped him. "Who are you, you crazy beautiful chick bird?" he said. I removed his black velvet underpants and gave him a blow off.

As a scurrilous journey through the scary worlds of ruinous sex and hard cannabis, this book is difficult to beat. From September 1966 to May 1967, Sophie lived in a tiny one room flat in North Kensington with Billy Pilkington, Terry Quick & Baroque & Roll, The Jumpnuts, The Mona Lisa and Golden Cartwheel:

I was gone hooked on psychedelia by then. The music, the clothes and the drugs, drugs, drugs. Dhave Whavering of Glittering Roundness swaggered into my life and I knew I had to give him a blow off as soon as possible. We ate breakfast while The Snits played, rolled up some fried banana skins and smoked a banger. That night, as I repeatedly gave Dhave blow offs, I saw God in the spectral heaven of the stars. Then I blew him off again. I blew his apples off that night.

The Mona Lisa’s ‘Orange Tits Fly!’ was inspired by an episode when a stoned Billy Pilkington painted Sophie’s naked body a daring, deep orange.

Says Billy today: "It was a crazy scene. We had to sleep on Terry Quick & Baroque & Roll’s harpsichords, I recall. They were bloody uncomfortable! Sophie was a groovy tart and she blew me off before we’d even been formally introduced. One day, she blew off me, Terry Quick, the Mona Lisa and The Jumpnuts in one fantastic acid-bent session lasting until ten-o-clock at night!"

Whenever The Mona Lisa played a gig, Sophie would take all her clothes off, jump down into the audience and blow them all off whether they wanted it or not.

Sophie also had an affair with promiscuous, bisexual, Glaswegian dolly-chanteuse Rebecca English. "As soon as I saw Rebecca", says Sophie. "I knew that I had to blow her off. I plied her with Scotch and Coke for over three days and finally, when she was unconscious, she gave in".

Sophie finally fell in love with Mongo Debussy from Mongo Debussy & The Satans. The book describes this in some detail:

As I blew off Pongo, he spoke to me in the strange, alien language that only he could understand. ‘D’brafni aboobooboo nif regargatarar’ he said to me – and I knew I was in love at last. It was difficult to tell if Pongo felt the same way, however, as he spent most of his time up on the roof, praying to Cph’len’nin’gy. Sometimes, when he was up on the roof, jabbering wildly and making unusual hand movements, I’d climb up there and blow him off.

‘Confessions Of A Pop Group Girl’ Who’s Who!

"I had to make sure no-one could identify the people featured in the book" says Sophie. "So I made up the most unlikely names for everyone so no-one could identify the people featured in the book, whom I had disguised".

· The Pox – The Cocks
· Dudley Pimlock – Dorian Peacock
· Jimmy Chameleon & The Bayploys – James Criterion & The Playboys
· Berry Stick & The Shocked Pole – Terry Quick & Baroque & Roll
· Glittering Roundness– Golden Cartwheel
· Dhave Whavering - David Waymering
· Silly Bilkington – Billy Pilkington
· The Smile – The Mona Lisa
· The Pumpguts – The Jumpnuts
· Blue & Red Druid – Pink & Green Fluid
· The Doctor Watson – The Sheerluck Homes
· Dairy Whippett – Mary Tippett
· Strawberry Mumms – Raspberry Dadds
· Becky Scotland – Rebecca England
· Pisstoher Bones – Christopher Jones
· The Uptights – The Uprights
· Fatkey Halfthetime – Kathy Valentine
· The Stinking Hells – The Tinkerbells
· Pongo Spaghetti & The Vacants – Mongo Debussy & The Satans