The Mighty Lord General Sir Captain Prince Charles

‘How Many Fingers, Darlin’?’ c/w ‘She Like Me Big Bamboo’
Released 22nd January 1959. Caribou Records 100A

Hailing from Tobago, The Mighty Lord General Sir Captain Prince Charles (real name: Herbert de Lorean Basquiat), was the most famous of the many calypso singers who dominated the UK singles charts in the late 1950s. His first two singles ‘She Squeeze She Melons When I Come Home From Work’ and ‘She Grind She Hips Against Me Banana’ only made the top twenty, but it was ‘How Many Fingers’, Darlin’?’ that really put de Lorean Basquiat on the pop map.

At the time, calypso was viewed as a rather jocular, innocent musical form. A 1957 hit ‘She Wear She Dress With Nothin’ Underneath’ by King Duke Arthur and his Mighty Stalin Invaders reached number three in the charts, despite its lyrics: ‘She tell I to keep me rocket in me pocket/I wail and gnash I teeth/ For this is Saturday night, my friend/ So she wear she dress with nothin’ underneath’.

‘How Many Fingers, Darlin’?’, with a raucous backing featuring pounding steel drums and a ragged horn section, was a popular radio hit and soon reached number one in the charts, knocking ‘My Best Slippers’ by Geoffrey Nutt & The Mayfair Girls from the top spot.

Before long, de Lorean Basquiat was invited to perform in front of The Royal Family at Buckingham Palace and reportedly turned in a spectacular performance (backed by the Roaring King Nelson Girl Butterfly Dancers and The Mighty Lord General Sir Captain Prince Charles Mighty Spitfire Macbeth Orchestra and Power Melody Dance Band).

The music apparently inspired Princess Margaret to lewdly act out the lyrics of ‘She Squeeze She Melons…’ before she had to be heavily sedated and committed to a private royal asylum for three years.

Just to give an idea of what the Princess’s performance might have entailed, it’s worth quoting some of the lyrics to this classic song:

I like she saltfish in the morning
I like she saltfish in the night
I like she grind she sweet papaya
On me sugar cane hard an’ tight

I like she lick the sweet banana
I like she lick the old beef jerk
Most of all I like she squeeze she melons
When I come home from work

Still performing regularly, despite being in his late seventies, de Lorean Basquiat recently put the finishing touches to his seventy-third calypso album ‘Tribute to Mr David Niven’, which features a re-working of ‘How Many Fingers, Darlin’?’, featuring a previously omitted verse, which de Lorean Basquiat himself deemed too tasteless to be included in the original waxing. Can’t wait!