Jenny Warts

JENNY WARTS

‘Sex Effex’ c/w ‘I Hate Your Face’

Released June 18^th 1977

Squishing Noise Records    Squisher 7

In February 1977 a young public schoolgirl emerged from the crowd at legendary new wave venue, The Flob Pot, to take the stage and instantly transform into the sex queen of Punk Rock. That night, Jacqueline Hart-Fellowes became Jenny Warts.

The Flob Pot’s resident punk band Limpin’ Pimps had just tragically lost their lead singer. During their first number he accidentally drowned in spit.

With no time to find a replacement, bass player VD Clinic asked the audience for help. “I’m not sure most people heard us, they were so busy gobbing”, remembers VD (real name Piers Mintcake). “But Jenny leapt up and the rest is history”.

Jenny didn’t know any Limpin’ Pimps’ songs so, as the band played, she marched across the stage hitting various members of the Pimps across the face with a beer tray. “The crowd loved it”, murmurs Mintcake down the phone. “Well, they loved Jenny. She was so beautiful and sexy in her rubber bondage wear and naked breasts and…oh I’m sorry, I’ve just gone off….”

Mintcake is not alone in experiencing an uncontrollable climax at the thought of Jenny Warts. In the dark days of the 1970’s she was a laser-guided ray of pure, new wave sex. She totally captivated a nation of bored teenage boys who fell for her smouldering looks, provocative dance moves and incredibly revealing clothes; supplied by King’s Road boutiquier, Pinky Nonce.

Says Pinky: “I was causing revolution with my filthy clobber. It was a call to one-armed action, with drop out breast flaps, minge masks, studded cock awnings and high heel bondaged cloppers. The moment Jenny slithered into my perverted situationist punk wear, boys – and quite a few girls - across the UK lost the plot”.

Nonce wasn’t wrong. An appearance on Top Of The Pops saw A&E departments experience a massive upsurge in wrist injuries. On her first solo tour several fans spontaneously combusted. By the time Warts released her album “Sex Effex”, with one of the most revealing album sleeves of all time, the country was gripped by a national shortage of tissues. When she appeared totally naked in a soft porn magazine, doctor’s surgeries were jammed with young men suffering severe dehydration and temporary blindness.

Pinky Nonce recalls: “She was undiluted sex on a slippery leather stick. For a nation used to three day weeks and the bland, puerile titillation of ‘Carry On…’ movies, to have Jenny Warts thrusting her incredible body at you on stage…well, venues nationwide were wiping down the walls for weeks”.